Anything Goes Fiancée Fight to the Finish!
by Jayde1
Summary: How much worse would things get if Ranma decided to put a stop to all the chaos?


## Ranma 1/2

### Anything Goes Fiancée Fight to the Finish!

#### (Say that three times fast!)

Ranma looked at the crowd surrounding him and gave a moment's consideration to drowning himself in the nearest pool. He shuddered at the thought that presented and quickly decided against it. No one deserved the fate that would come upon them if they fell into... what would it be called? The Spring of Drowned Aquatranssexual Boy With Harem of Body Swapping Fiancées?

What had _he_ done to deserve it?

-------------

"THAT IS ENOUGH!!!"

The melee in front of the Tendo Dojo froze, the interruption being too sudden to trigger a mass facefault. Ranma Saotome was standing at the gate, his blue battle aura glowing. Shampoo saw her airen and was about to execute the Amazon Glomp (tm), but thought better of it. Even Kodachi decided it would be better to present her one true love with a bouquet at a later date. On the roof, Nabiki stopped taking pictures as she tried to figure out what was happening.

Ranma glared at them all. "I am SICK and TIRED of all of you FIGHTING over WHO GETS TO MARRY ME!!!" It looked like Soun had been teaching him the demon head. "We are going to END this NOW!!"

All of the fiancées perked up a little at his declaration. Shampoo was brave enough to speak. "Airen mean he pick wife?"

"NO!" Everyone cringed. "I mean we are going to SETTLE this!"

The paused fighters- Shampoo, Ukyou, Kodachi, and Akane- began to think furiously of what Ranma could possibly be talking about, and how they could turn it to their advantage (Akane kept telling herself she was only here because the stupid pervert had chosen to have this fight at _her_ home, but it wasn't really working). Nabiki considered what Ranma marrying or leaving would do to her profits and quickly came to the conclusion that, either way, she would be bankrupt within a week. Kasumi, at the door, wondered if everyone was going to stay for dinner.

"This is all going to end now," Ranma repeated, staring at the four girls in front of him. "I don't care how, but all of you are going to sit down and work out a decision on all of this. I don't care if you want to fight, cook, or draw straws, but every one of you is going to going to swear that you will agree with whatever happens. I don't care if you decide to have a swim meet at Jusenkyo, but you are going to decide on something, and that will be it. I don't care if I end up married to Kuno, Ryoga, Mousse, and Tsubasa by the time you're finished, as long as it means you will stop trying to stake a claim on me. Am I clear?" His voice was getting dangerously soft.

Four pairs of eyes blinked as they realized he was finished. Then they realized it would probably be a good idea to answer.

"Crystal, Ranchan."

"Shampoo understand."

"Your wish, my darling."

Akane muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "Ranma no baka."

It took them three hours of arguments, insults, and death threats to beat out a compromise. Kasumi had been kind enough to supply tea for everyone, but any relaxation that could have brought was smoothly canceled out by Nabiki. She had maneuvered herself into a 'consultant' role that had each one paying her for advice. When they finally agreed, and Nabiki felt she had milked the situation dry, it was presented to Ranma. 

Fairly simple, after all the chaos life had been recently. A fight, using whatever your personal style and/or weapons happened to be, winner being the one left standing at the end. Winner take all. It would start as soon as they could get to Jusenkyo.

Ranma listened to the description and nodded. If he knew anything about any of those girls, Jusenkyo had been Shampoo's idea. Akane wouldn't have suggested anything that could result in becoming like Ranma, it wasn't Ukyou's style, and Kodachi couldn't understand the curse if it jumped up and bit her. Shampoo, on the other hand, already had a curse. Jusenkyo gave her the home court advantage.

He had opened his mouth, and was about to agree, when he got upstaged by "Soun and Genma's Operation Engagement!"

No one was really sure how, but before they realized it everyone had been loading on a boat headed for China. 'Everyone' meant Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, Shampoo, Kodachi, Nabiki, and Kasumi. Operation Engagement had apparently been the result of the belief that Akane could defeat her challengers hands down, but it included her sisters as a guaranteed way of ensuring the joining of the schools. Now, with so many rivals crammed into a confined space, the peace was eerie. There were no battles, no sign of violence aside from katas done on the deck to prepare. Ukyou didn't insult anyone, Shampoo didn't call names, Akane didn't raise her voice, and Kodachi didn't laugh psychotically.

The crew gave them all a wide margin of space. These girls were radiating stress on the level of the San Andreas Fault. That, and the fact that the second mate was still walking a little uncomfortably from when he'd propositioned Akane.

Even the Jusenkyo Guide could tell something was up. He'd gotten about two lines into his warning when it became obvious that no one was listening. Seeing that the female members of he party were mostly engaged in plotting every inch of the training grounds in their minds, he approached Ranma, who he recognized.

"Ah, Mr. Customer? You know tragic story of springs? And you still come?"

Ranma nodded absently. Then something occurred to him. He really did want to get this over with, but there was no reason to make the losers miserable for the rest of their lives. "Are there any blank springs? Ones that nothing has drowned in yet?"

The guide waved his hand to indicate a smaller, slightly separate group of pools. "Those mostly empty, sir. One is Spring of Drowned Mongoose and other is Hummingbird, but others no cursed yet."

A brief image of a hummingbird producing a mallet ran through Ranma's head, followed by a mongoose on its hind legs swinging a battle spatula. He shook it off, thanked the guide, and directed his fiancées over to the pools he'd selected.

No one could even think of fighting Kasumi, and Nabiki was going to take the chance to get some good footage to sell since she had publicly announced that she wasn't interested in challenging for Ranma. Kuno would shell out a lot of yen for this tape of his tigress Akane, and whoever ended up winning would probably want to keep it. As a memento, and for when she was inevitably accused of cheating.

He saw it happen. Ukyou had overextended her spatula in an effort to hit Shampoo while dodging a gymnastics hoop. She was tripped and hit at the same time, falling forward and pulling Akane along by a piece of ribbon that was tying their ankles together. Shampoo had been nailed, losing her own balance, and her bonboris went flying through the air. One struck Kodachi and knocked her toward the Amazon as the other landed a hair to the left of Nabiki, causing her to jump right into her older sister...

The splash seemed to last for an hour. The water settled, and Ranma risked a glance to see--

The exact same six figures that had fallen in. No mongooses, no birds, and no other animals climbed out of the spring. Then something else registered.

Ranma risked another look. Fortunately, everyone was still too shocked to react. It was about as bad as he'd worried. At least they had fairly distinctive clothing.

Kasumi, with an okonomiyaki outfit that was much too short and a bandoleer of throwing spatulas.

Akane, holding her ribbon in one hand while the other hand picked damp rose petals out of her hair.

Shampoo, wearing a yellow gi.

Ukyou, the dripping camera still in her hand.

Strangest was what looked like it had originally been Nabiki, sporting a slinky Amazon dress that did wonders to show off her pink hair, the pointed cats' ears on top of her head, and the tail that escaped through the slit back.

Kodachi looked down at her kimono, blinked, and said something that pretty much summed up everyone's thoughts at the moment. 

"Oh my."

  
  


----- Author's Notes -----

Not beta read, sorry. Please email any glaring errors I missed. Flames will be used for smores.

I know Ranma is out of character and everyone else is sort of stereotyped. I just wrote this to see if things really could be worse. And I was reading too many Ranma fics this weekend, and I haven't gotten much sleep lately, and I think I'm getting a cold so I'm a little light headed. There probably won't be any series written off of this unless I get mass quantities of people asking me to. Knock yourself out if you want to use it, but tell me. I want to read it!

I really don't know what would happen if a bunch of people fell in a blank pool, so I had fun with it. In case it wasn't clear the curses are:

    Shampoo becomes a pink haired, half-cat Nabiki
    Nabiki becomes Ukyou
    Ukyou becomes Kasumi
    Kasumi becomes Kodachi
    Kodachi becomes Akane
    Akane becomes Shampoo

God have mercy on the next person to fall in.

Jayde   
[dreamin@notme.com][1]   
[DreamCatcher Studios][2]

   [1]: mailto:dreamin@notme.com
   [2]: http://home.dencity.com/dreamcatcher-studios/



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